2005-06-09 - 4:25 p.m.

I have a meeting for a gig this weekend that makes me a little nervous. It seems like the folks I will be working for are rather unorganized. I could be wrong, maybe this one department just got a little out of hand somehow, but it is still rather crazy sounding. The basic tasks sound easy, but it sounds like there is a lot of people involved and a limited amount of time to deal with everything. Well, we shall see. Worst-case cinario I go to this meeting, listen to what they have to say, respond with ďBitch crazy!Ē and leave. I hope it works out, though. Itís a new company and while I am sort of violating my ďSummer of No TheaterĒ contract by taking the job, it is not in lighting and it is only two shows and a rehearsal. I will just be a technician, not a designer, and itíll give me a reason to buy pretty new things. Also, if this goes well word will get back to folks with the ability to hire me for other, more profitable gigs.

I have finished two more books. #15 is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. The story is told from the perspective of an autistic 15-year-old boy. I donít want to give the story away, but it is really good and I love how it is really empathetic to his situation without letting that excuse his behavior or other peopleís.

Book #16 is Iím Not the New Me. by Wendy McClure. This is an author I found through her blog which I always liked. The book is really good as well. It reads like you are having a conversation with the author rather that the writer creating a story to be presented at a removed distance the once they are finished. I like that. I think it really works because the book is more or less a memoir and it feels like she is owning her experience and choosing to share it. Blah blah, literati rhetoric about active voice etc etc. Basically, I stayed up until 3 in the morning just so I could finish the book all in one go because to put it down until the next day felt like I was telling someone on the phone you had to finish the conversation later. You can do it, but you donít really want to.

Ah, yes, I do have book # 17. Itís actually a play Iím working on for the fall, and I wasnít originally going to count it, but, dammit, Iíve read it three times already and I donít even have my floor plan worked out yet, so Iím counting it. One Flew Over the Cuckooís Nest by Dale Wasserman. I havenít read the novel since High School and Iím going to try to read it again, but I really want to focus on the play and not get distracted by the differences. Well, we all know this is a classic and for good reason. As Iím going through it it reminds me not only of the drama thatís going on, but also of some suspense films as well, like ďThe BirdsĒ by Hitchcock All of them trapped, by choice or force, in one place just waiting for someone to lose it. Itís like a teakettle starting to boil. Iím looking forward to the show.

I still have quite a ways to go to read 50 books this year, but Iím doing all right. Falling behind a little, but Iíve had more time lately to just read for fun and thatís helping.

I am adding a new goal to my Summer of No Theater. I want to figure out where I want to be in six months, because one thing is for certain, I do not want to still be at my job. I want to figure out some sort of game plan, though. Iíve been sort of listlessly looking around for other things to do, but so far nothing has come of that. I think I need to be a bit more proactive on this and at the very least figure out a direction to start really looking. It doesnít need to be fancy, but it does need to pay better and have benefits. Iím just tired of this place sucking my soul. It doesnít matter how hard I try, it is never good enough. Add on top of that they are auditing the books so the higher ups are asking me about stuff that happened over a year ago and I have no idea what to tell them, but that isnít good enough either, apparently. Iím just tired, and now Iím sick so Iím cranky too. Grrrr.

I wish I had something to talk about other than all this crankyness. Iím sort of at a loss right now, though. I just find myself wishing right now that things could just be simple for a little while. That isnít going to happen, though. Iím even bummed because my place I used to go for lunch when I was feeling a bit down (World of Wraps on Market at DuBose. I know it isnít exciting, but it was always fast and quiet and painted a lovely shade of light green.) closed a while ago so I donít have anywhere to take myself today to make me feel better. Yuck.

when we last left our herosÖ - in our next exciting installmentÖ