A Tuesday Kind of Entry
Iím tired. And frustrated. Seriously, there are a few ways that the Universe really just needs to throw me a bone already. Anyway, there is not much I can do about any of it; I just sorta needed to throw that out there, vent a bit of it away, as it were.
Hmmm, Iím starting to realize why I donít post something everyday. I really have very little to say most of the time. Well, no matter, I am not a quitter! I will keep writing everyday! It actually has been a good exercise, at least. It seems like sitting down and needing to come up with something coherent, even if itís stupid, has helped me start to sort out a few of my ideas and the other crap dancing around in my head. All this in only a week! Maybe if I keep it up Iíll know the Secrets of the Universe by Christmas.
I got an email yesterday about Dance Along Nutcracker. I am so excited! I had so very much fun the last time. I need to put together an outfit.
I think I want to start sewing again, like, for reals. Iíve found two patterns I want to try and there is the cutest jacket/ skirt set in a window in the Castro that I would love to try to copy. I donít know if I have the skills to pull that off, but weíll see. Maybe start off with the simpler patterns to boost my confidence first. I havenít actually tried to make street clothes in so long- itís only been costumes for years now. Obviously, the method is exactly the same, clothes are clothes after all, but there are corners you can cut with costumes that you donít want to do with street clothes. The little things that keep it from looking ďhomemadeĒ in the bad way from close up. I just hope I can find the patience to make the alterations correctly, and set the sleeves just right and not speed through the hems, that kind of thing.
At the same time, it feels like I have so very many things I want to do and no real time or extra energy to actually do them. I also want to start drawing more, I have a cross stitch that Iíve barely started, I want to paint the apartment, clean out the garage and I still have so very far to go on my portfolio and web site. So many things, so very lazy.
Now Iím starting to procrastinate (what? Me? Procrastinate?). I really donít want to finish the project I have at work right now. It is incredibly tedious and my eyes are starting to cross when I even think about the database. But it must be done, and it must be done by me. The other thing that I need to do is fill out my performance evaluation. I hate doing things like that. I hate writing about myself and I hate trying to verbalize in positive, forward momentum, corporate speak ways what basically comes down to, ďI do my best to do what yíall tell me to. Please tell me if you do not agree. Oh, and please pay me more. Kthnxbai.Ē
Well, itís almost 5. I was going to swing by this Happy Hour fundraiser downtown, but I donít know if I will. I wonít know a single person there and the last time I went to one of these things I ended up sitting by myself while nursing two drinks because everyone else there already knew people and werenít really interested in letting strangers into their conversations. They werenít mean or rude, justÖ closed I guess. If that makes sense. Part of me still wants to go, itís a good cause and who knows, maybe this one wonít be like that, but at the same time I donít know if I want to deal with it, you know? Eh, I have an hour to decide. Weíll see.