2006-09-03 - 7:40 p.m.

It certainly has been a while since I updated. Well, I went down to lovely (um, sorta) Southern California for a few days. I was helping a friend of mine get ready to have baby number 2. Unfortunately I didnít have time to see anyone else while I was down there (sorry Twins!). Next time. I want my next trip to be about fun, go out, do the LA thing one time, check out the Korean spa (right Arweena?) see how it is.

One good thing about having such a quiet, goal oriented trip is I had a lot of time (on top of the two 7 hour drives) to really think without other stuff cluttering up the thoughts. I really needed that. It helped a lot of things come clear about where I am and where I want to be not just with work or school, or any specific area, just in general. I didnít necessarily make a lot of decisions, but the path is a bit clearer. The thing I realized is that I have been cluttering up my brain with lots of little decisions and ďwhat ifsĒ and ďbut thatíll be scaryĒ instead of answering the big ones and letting the little ones fall where they may. I also realized that there are a couple of situations where I have been holding out hope that things will change on their own, but I have really realized that they just arenít going to and I need to make my way knowing that and stop waiting for it.

I sort of feel like Iím getting ready to walk the plank or something, but it isnít that bad. Itíll just be risky but I think itíll pay off in the end. Walking into the unknown is always risky. I sort of feel like what Arweena was talking about, I am who I was going to become, there isnít going to be a magical day when I wake up and everything has fallen into place, I need to start trying harder to be happy now, not sometime in the future. I need to be good with where I am or I need to change it, right now, on my own.

So, right now I am sitting in Brainwash doing about a month-and-a-halfís worth of laundry. I decided I wanted to go out, but I also had to do my laundry, so I figured I would load up the laundry, the soap, the quarter box, and the laptop and head out to do my laundry. Itís sort of a nice change. Plus I get to drink beer and eat pasta that I didnít cook while I do it. Also, they actually have attendants who are here all the time and who are very nice and help you, even if you are a dumbass like me and just donít lose the door all the way; and instead of numbering the machines, they name them, so my washers were Nermal and Old Baby and my dryers are Mike Jonz and Ion Megan. Itís silly but it makes me smile. I canít imagine this being a regular thing (usually I run across the street to change over the loads during commercial breaks on Greyís Anatomy) because it really is more effort than Iím usually able to expend, but itís fun this time. Top it off with the fact I got parking right in front and itís even better. Though, honestly, if I didnít have this much laundry, I could theoretically throw the laundry bag into my car on the way to work and just come by here for Happy Hour after 5 and just get it done then. I should really try to do it on movie night- laundry and Kung Fu movies, a beautiful combination. There is so much planning in that, though.

Speaking of Greyís Anatomy, I canít believe they are moving that to Thursdays. It messes up my entire TV viewing schedule. Now it is opposite CSI and the OC (which I was really hoping would shape up this year and get back to itís Season 1 and 2 (to a lesser extent) fabulousness, especially now that they got rid of that boat anchor Marissa) I cannot keep track of three shows in the same time slot. However every other night of the week? Nada. Well, Runway on Wed, at least until this seasonís over, and ANTM will probably still be in itís old Wednesday (right?) slot, but other than that? What do I do about Sunday nights now? How about Tuesdays? A girl can seriously only watch so many Law and Order reruns on TNT. I do have to say that I watched Gene Simmonsís new show on A&E and it was surprisingly entertaining. His wife is a crackup and his kids are great.

Anyway, the dryer just dinged and I am getting pretty sick of the obnoxious High School garage band opening act at the next folding table over. They are so obnoxious and one of them is doing the pretentious musician thing that bothers me more than anything else. If you are a musician friend of mine, you do not do this, or if you do on occasion you have discovered the secret to being non-obnoxiuos and pretentious about it. I know this because I seriously think I would end a friendship over it. There is really good music playing over the sound system here in the Laundromat. Now, the obnoxious thing they are doing is that thing where if you have a guitar in your hand you must play random nothing crap on it just to distract your hands or whatever. You are not playing a song, or tuning up, just random stream of consciousness crap. If there is nothing else playing it doesnít bother me nearly as much, but if there is already music playing and you feel the need to play this nothing random strumming and picking crap? You are evil incarnate to me. It is just rude to assume people would rather listen to your diddling crap rather than the professional, recorded, rehearsed ACTUAL SONGS that are already playing. I donít want to hear you warm up. I want to hear what I was greatly enjoying already when your dipshit ass walked in here.

Well, I have clean sock and underwear and I have almost finished my soda, soI should probably post this already and get back to my apartment before obnoxious High School band starts playing for real.

when we last left our herosÖ - in our next exciting installmentÖ