I Can Sleep When I'm Dead
2005-07-06 - 4:21 p.m.

I have been hit with the worst case of insomnia lately. I am absolutely exhaustedÖ until I lie down to sleep, then, wide awake. I really hope this doesnít last much longer. The worst part is I really want to sleep right after I get home from work, but that would be a really bad idea. Iíve been through this before and if I nap at 5pm itíll make everything worse because then I will wake up at 8ish and be Wide Awake the rest of the night because now everything is thrown off and it will just make the insomnia worse. Iíve been trying to think if I have changed anything about my bedtime schedule. That does it a lot. I am, at heart, a creature of habit. I canít think of anything obvious, though so I may have to start making changes to see if I can find something that works. I have yoga tonight, which should help. I feel all wet noodley after that. Now, if I can just get home, make dinner, watch Dancing with the Stars, maybe drink some tea, and fall asleep that will be lovely. We shall see. I think I need to just not read for one night and just focus on sleeping. Man, thatís really hard for me. Especially right now. Iím reading a very good book. Well, depending on when I get home maybe I can read a bit before Dancing with the Stars.

Gah! I just canít focus on anything. I keep trying to get things done, but when I try to focus everything just sort of leaves my head. I hate this point in insomnia, the point where your brain just sort of shuts down, like itís on strike, saying call me when you figure this out, because, seriously, I need sleep. Then I want to shout back ďBrain! Youíre the one preventing me from sleeping!!Ē Then I really know Iím going loopy because Iím talking to my own brain.

Now Iím getting cranky. I want it to be 5 so I can leave. Everyone who has called me today has called because they have a problem with something. Most of these things are not my fault. One is. I did really screw up this one guyís order and I feel badly, but Iím trying to fix it as quickly as I can and he is all over me about it. Arg. I just want to curl up in a little ball for a while until everything is calm again. Yeah, I donít think we ever really get to do that again after Kindergarten. Iím afraid to check my voicemail. Iím afraid it has more complaining people on it. Well, 45 minutes to go. Do you think I can avoid my voicemail that long? Neither do I.

I did get an email from a friend of mine today inviting me to Great America in two weeks. Yay! I havenít seen these guys in over a year, so it will be much fun. They also have a 1 Ĺ year old boy, so it will be fun to go to the park with a little kid. I havenít done that in a long while. Hmmm, Iím a little hungry. I think Iíll post this then see if I can go get a snack. Yeah, snack, that will be nice.

when we last left our herosÖ - in our next exciting installmentÖ