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Random Pre-holiday Entry
2005-05-27 - 5:01 p.m.

So, have you ever been really upset with someone, and you try to think clearly and put all your thoughts in order, and work out your arguments complete with ďI feelĒ statements and specific examples so that when you talk to the person you can be clear and resolute and not turn into a bubbling pile of goo before you get your point across and then you talk to them and before you can even get started the say, ďhey, I was really out of line and I feel really badly about it, so Iím sorry. I wonít do that again.Ē And thenÖ you have no idea what to say because you were expecting a fight and to have to assert yourself and demand to be treated like a person and now the situation is completely changed and you didnít plan for this contingency and now you sort of feel like a deflated balloon because all of the ire and anger is gone, but there is nothing else there to replace it. Well, maybe itís just me, but thatís how I feel. Itís good, I donít like fighting or being angry, but at the same time I got myself all worked up and it just went nowhere. Poof, gone, or at least completely changed. Iíve been working so hard on not letting people take advantage of me that I try to plan for every argument possible, but never for a resolution. I always assume Iím going to have to fight to the death instead of the other party conceding. The funny thing about that is if I feel I have done something wrong to someone else, I am usually the first person to apologize. I just never expect it from other people. It feels like there is something wrong with that, but I canít put my finger on it.

I saw Shawn of the Dead last night. So, so, so funny. Go see it if you havenít already. I laughed so hard. Thatís all I have to say about that.

People are so stupid. I hate our customers. Well, except for the nice ones, they can stay. They can only call during very specific times of the day, though. Yes, I like that idea.

So, the summer of no theater is going very well. It has been very nice to just not have to deal with anything like that. I am still helping one of my spaces with a renovation theyíre doing this summer, but that is a different kind of work and Iím prepping for one show in the fall, but because it is my only one Iíve been taking my time and just having fun with it. That is a nice change. Iím not really sure where this is taking me. Iíve been thinking about a lot of things with this and I know I still have plenty of summer left to figure everything out, but I still feel like Iím aproaching a crossroads. We shall see.


when we last left our herosÖ - in our next exciting installmentÖ