The Things They Teach in School Nowadays...
2005-02-02 - 8:19 p.m.

So, crazy customer of the day award:
A woman called and said she was looking for a confetti cannon. Well, first she had to tell me her life story. She is working with an Odyssey of the Mind kind of group (That’s this thing for smart kids that has them try to figure out logic problems and build things and feel superior to the other students) and the kids were creating a show of some sort. They were building a clock and I’m not sure what else and they want streamers to shoot out at the audience. Apparently, one of the girls in the group saw this at the Rockettes’ Xmas show. So they called the Rockettes (I’m sure there’s a kick line joke in here somewhere, so please feel free to insert your own), and they told them it was a confetti cannon. I told her we had one, but she was looking for one of the small hand held ones with the CO2 cartridge. I told her ours was air pressure. She asked if a kid could operate it. Um, this thing shoots out 150lbs of air pressure in one go. I told her they could, but I wouldn’t recommend it, seeing as this thing could injure someone should something go wrong. “Really?” She asked me incredulously. Well, I told her, yeah, it’s basically a giant air rifle and if it goes of aimed at a person, that could be really bad. “Oh,” she replied, sort of disenchantedly. Well, do you know where to get the hand held ones? I would try a party store or a magic shop. “Oh, ok. Well, do you know how to make those, because ideally the kids would make them themselves.” WHAT!! Um, no I do not know how to make them, and you probably shouldn’t let the kids try because I don’t know that the school wants the kids building guns. “What do you mean?” Well, it is basically an air rifle, like I told you, and the hand held one is basically a smaller version, so it is also a gun. “Oh, well, ok. Thanks. *Click* Oh my God lady, are you crazy?? You were actually going to let 12 year olds build a gun?? Yeah, yeah, I know it’s not a bang, bang, you’re dead gun, but a device that propels something out of it’s barrel at an accelerated speed to increase the distance and force is technically a gun and someone could get hurt by it; and something tells me an urban based school district isn’t going to look very kindly on the construction of ANY kind of potential weapon by it’s students for a school event. Think people!!!! The future of our country is doomed.

Also, book 2 finished! A short story collection called McSweeny’s Enchanted Chamber of Astonishing Stories, edited by Michael Chabon. Very, very good. Highly recommend it. It’s a book of short stories written by authors who sort of straddle the realm between standard fiction and Sci-fi/ horror. Lots of well written stories with bizarre little twists to them. OK, well it’s already Feb, so I better get cracking on book 3.

when we last left our heros… - in our next exciting installment…